Escape from New York

Living in the city has it's downfalls, one of which is the difficulty just trying to leave the city. It's not a simple jump and the car and go but rather a well choreographed ballet synchronized in both time and movement.

The first challenge is just getting my car. You see I have to park in Brooklyn because it would cheaper to put my car through college then it would be to park in Manhattan. After work I take a subway from the village to the farthest reaches of Brooklyn. I go across the East River, past the abandoned Spike Lee sets, past the gangs and thugs all the way to a parking lot I believe is somewhere beyond Conney Island and nestled deep in the Atlantic Ocean.

Once I have my car I begin my journey through the outer boroughs, I believe I go through all of them at least twice in order to get back. Once on the island I enter into a death race with the finest cabbies in the world. I weave in and out of traffic until I'm safely outside my apartment, then I begin circlling the block for 8 hours looking for a parking lot. Finally, after I've run out of vacation time, I park in a garage.

Now that the car is parked I go upstairs to pack, fortunatly my possessions fit in one bag. With bags ready I stop by the hospital in order to donate a kidney so that I can pay for the parking garage, I would be a lot easier if the parking garage would take organs then I could cut out the middle man. I get my car double park then run upstairs for my bags.

Back downstairs I remove the parking ticket from my windshield get in and drive. Then I stop abruptly and spend the next three hours in traffic. Once through the tunnel I park on the turnpike and wait for my turn to go, and just hope that I'll make it to my destination before retirement.